Monday, September 9, 2013

Living without fear of consequences - an experiment - Day 1

The first day was really eventful. Now I realize why people like to "live on the edge".
There is no boredom or even serenity - your whole day will be filled with different kind of experiences - good or bad.
Only in 1 day, I see huge changes in my personality. A guy who usually talks only after 2 drinks, was striking conversations with every one ! Wohhaaa ! No body taught me this trick in "personality development" books. Anyway, here are my experiences - whether they were good for me , or bad - I am not judging . Just stating the facts.

Eventful experiences
I am usually very  calm and serene whole day long, and enjoy the extreme emotions once in a while with friends or family. But on "Day 1" , I was either very happy or very angry or very sad or very sexually active. Eventful is the life, and thats how you live it, dawg.

Everything was in the past , when the moment has passed
I fought with someone. When the fight got over, I was happily munching some popcorns. I did not care who I fought with few moments ago - or why. I was head-banging on some song, and suddenly I was sad at something. I did not care about the song any more, just that I am sad. I did not care what happened a moment ago ! Every thing in past - was out of my head.
No Fear
When I stopped thinking of the future consequences, I had no sense of fear in what ever I did. Fear is not a "bad" thing - it keeps you alive. But it can also stop you from doing a lot of things. Like, chatting confidently  with a stranger, experiencing your 350 cc bike at full throttle,  looking into the eye of double sized stranger who is acting like a jerk and threatening to kick his ass,  or maxing out your credit card.
People can also do things with "thinking of consequences" - but this way - they are just way much easier to perform.

Every one was either with me , or WRONG.
This is the one, I got scared of! Everyone, who stopped me from fulfilling my desires, were completely wrong- and I even had fully justified reasons of why they were wrong.

I didnt work, and I lied to boss that I did. Jerk, cant he understand that I work so hard everyday - why I had to work today also. I need an extended weekend , and he cant understand that - what can I do except lie.

Even that 60 kmph speed limit sign board - ofcourse it was wrong. How the hell can he tell me that I can not take that curve at 100 kmph ? ( But rule no.1 - break no law. So I had to come down at 55 kmph :)   )

So, If you help me in completing my desires, you are my best buddy, or go fuck yourself.


No judgements vs Fully Judgmental
I did not judge any of my actions, even for a single moment. I had no reasons to. I did what I wanted to do. Isnt that we all should be doing in life, Do what you want.
But other people. They are just big assholes I tell you. One guy on bike was rash driving in front of me. Doesn't the bloody loser know how to drive . Fucking "rich dad's kid". Spending dad's money and acting like a wanna be on the streeet. Go home to your mom you fucker.

Cared about my looks
This one contradicts the last point below. I could not understand why.
I was one of those geeky guys, who doesn't care which color or design my shirt is - as long as it is hiding my manly chest hairs B-) . But that changed. I had perfectly combed hairs whole day long. Contact lenses with sun glasses were out. Shirt was even ironed on day 1 :O And at-last, I felt like pumping iron all day long. Need to get those abs, dude.
No self image.
And last one, I have suddenly started using a lot of curse words ! I do not care what people think about me any more - or infact what I think about my self anymore. People are bloody losers anyway - expect for my buddies.

All I know is what I want, and I am right, you are fucking wrong if you say otherwise.


Living without fear of consequences - an experiment

I have always believed that life is not about right or wrong - but choices and consequences. If you chose to not study for exam - your consequences are failing that exam or cheating in the exam.  If you chose to hurt a friend, your consequences are - hope that friend will forgive you - or lose the friendship.
We want our choices - our way to live, but no one tells us what consequences of this choices will be.

That's what I had always believed in. But someone recently told me that I think too much, and should "Just do it" because YOLO ( You only live once ) . We argued a bit, but then I thought, instead of preaching others, I should join the other side for once - and experience living without fear of any consequences. Do what I want. If I want to drive fast, I will. If I want to skip office for sleeping extra hours, I will. If I want to work, I will. If I want to eat unhealthy, drink, smoke - I will. If I want to fight with someone, I will fight without fear of getting beaten up :D

Without any fear of what might be consequence of my desires, I will do it. No priorities, no responsibilities, no future plannings - only fulfilling desires of this moment .

This might sound too extreme to you. But think about it. Haven't you ever done something without fear of what will happen in future ? Eg. buying on your credit card, without knowing whether you can pay for it later on or not. Or bunking class "just to have fun". Or stealing money from your father's pocket. Well, I am just going to try out and do these "something"s every-time.

So, from this morning I woke up with strong belief  in this mantra - live this moment , not the previous, not the next - only this moment. Started with full throttle, driving at 120 on my bike for hours, first time in my life. Went on to listen to songs at full volume without caring about the neighbours - because I wanted to listen to my favourite song at full volume.

But, like every experiment needs some rules, here are a few of this one.
1. Do not break any law.
2. Do not put any one else's life in danger.
3. Do not force my own desires on any one else.
4. Don't do any thing "bad" or "good". If that good/bad judgemental thought has arrived in my mind - move on to something else instead.
5. Do anything that I want, no matter how crazy, risky or socially un-acceptable it is or even if it break hearts of near and dear ones - do anything except mentioned in rules 1 , 2 , 3 , 4.

I will share my experiences soon. If I dont, expect that I have died in some bike accident :O

you crazy YOLO , here I come.

Kids and adults - do not try this at home - but actually you already are - just the level is different for each one of you :P

Update - Day 1 experiences

Cookie :- Ervin McKinness, a 21-year-old aspiring rapper, tweeted about driving drunk at 120 mph minutes before dying in a fiery one-car crash that killed the rapper and four others.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/13/ervin-mckinness-driving-drunk-tweet-yolo-dies-car-crash-dui-_n_1880348.html



Wednesday, September 4, 2013

stop blaming, start living : quotes

Bob Sweeney: There was a moment, when I used to blame everything and everyone for all the pain and suffering and vile things that happened to me, that I saw happen to my people. Used to blame everybody. Blamed white people, blamed society, blamed God. I didn't get no answers 'cause I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions.
Derek Vinyard: Like what?
Bob Sweeney: Has anything you've done made your life better?

From American History X

To take control of your life, stop blaming others.